The Conscious Group - Sh*t Agents Say - Post 5

(Another Sweary Real Estate Post by Allison Parks)

Note: This is the fifth post in a series.  

Here is one of them:  

You should work with me, because I am a neighborhood expert. (Or school expert or foreclosure expert and so forth…)

BULLSHIT. 90% of the time, “expert” is just a marketing gimmick.

In the case of “neighborhood experts,” agents often choose the neighborhood in which they reside to be an “expert,” meaning that they are an expert because they live nearby. An agent who has branded onself as a “neighborhood expert” are using “hyperlocal marketing,” as it is highly recommended practice for real estate agents to market themselves heavily in a very small area.

What does “neighborhood expert” even mean? Do these people not know how to sell homes in other neighborhoods?

Here’s the thing…  there could be an instance where an agent has legitimately only sold homes in Cheesman Park for the past five years… they haven’t even sold a property in Congress Park on the other side of York Street, so they are a neighborhood expert, right? Not necessarily. If this agent has only sold Cheesman Park mansions for five years, they may not be familiar with the condos in Cheesman Park or they may not know how to accurately price an investment property in Cheesman Park. As such, even an agent who genuinely only sells properties in one neighborhood may still not be familiar with the type of property that you own or desire. As such, the term “neighborhood expert” is most often just shit real estate agents say to get your business.

Also in this realm of bullshit marketing are “experts” in vintage homes or “experts” in modern homes and such. These people may be Fantastic Agents, but it’s more likely that they are great at marketing themselves. One such agent who is a “Victorian Home Expert” called me for feedback from my clients about our showing we had. (Note: listing agents only call buyer’s agents for showing feedback if they cannot sell the home because they priced it too high and they are desperate.) I informed her that my clients weren’t interested because the floors were far more wonky than in most homes of that era, indicating potential structural issues. On top of that, the only bathroom in the home was not on the same floor as the bedrooms and was only accessible through the kitchen. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO PARADE THROUGH YOUR KITCHEN EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU TAKE A SHOWER?

She smugly responded that many Victorian homes have their quirks. (Thanks, honey. My Victorian home was built in 1899 and is put together like the car in Johnny Cash’s “One Piece At A Time” and it’s still better than this house you’re trying to sell, so you better lower your damn price and quit yer caterwauling.) Essentially, this “Victorian Expert” didn’t know enough about pricing a home to sell this one for asking price, but she is great at marketing herself and makes a shitload of money.

Truth: If an agent knows how to do their research, price properties effectively, assess the trends, negotiate well, and listen carefully to their clients, they can be a Fantastic Agent in any neighborhood with any type of home. An agent choosing to brand oneself as an “Expert” is just marketing.


Want a Fantastic Agent instead of a Problem Agent?  Give us a call at 303-908-9873.

For more on Shit Real Estate Agents Say to Get You to Hire Them, read our next post, I Have a Fancy Certification that Makes Me Uber-Ethical.

Spotlight on a Recent Conscious Real Estate Donation to the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless


We are a community.

We forget that sometimes. When it comes to our Denver community, homelessness and the brink of homelessness due to rent and home prices is an everyday reality. Yet, many people pretend these issues or people don’t exist, pushing them into corners (literal corners, like Lawrence Street and Park Avenue and figurative corners, like not being able to get credit, rent a place, find a job, etc.). This is our call to open our community, minds and hearts. We’re all on the same team.


Yet, how little our homeless community is valued can be reflected in the 2018 Denver Right to Survive Initiative. It’s an incredible movement establishing basic human rights for the homeless. What whatttt?? Yes. It’s 2018, and our homeless friends and neighbors are having to establish their own ‘Bill of Rights’ because our local, national and global human rights protections are ignored so commonly for them. It’s movements like this and support of hyper-local nonprofits that can help with building up our homeless neighbors. (Psst… you can read more and support the Right to Survive Initiative here.)



Housing: necessity and luxury.


The foundation of Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs is shelter. We need a place to rest and protect ourselves from the elements. Without that support, there’s not much to build on. Local Denver shelters are crowded, many are completely full daily. The silver lining is that there are so many dedicated people, organizations and businesses that understand we are all part of the same community and want to help. Yet, it’s true… housing, especially in Denver, is a luxury.


It can be mind numbing to think about… Did you buy your home before the Denver market boom and are lapping up your property values this year? Or, are you looking to buy and have been saving for some time, concerned about the prices out there? Finally, you could be like the best friend of a Conscious Real Estate employee… renting a studio for $1700 and sharing it with your partner. These are the common scenarios in housing these days. While more affordable housing is going up and some really cool projects like the Beloved Community Village have been changing the scene, donations are needed to help more people.


And, also… check this out. This stand-up judge is currently refusing to drop a class-action suit against the city of Denver for confiscating the property of homeless people (remember those awful vides of law enforcement taking their blankets on Capitol Hill last winter in the snow?) This is the kind of positive, for-the-people government action we like to see. We’re coming together!!


How does homelessness happen?

Many of our homeless neighbors are vets coping with trauma. Many have been homeless since they were kids. One man was literally thrown from a bridge. Another was just an infant when he became homeless. Their stories show just how strong human resilience can be despite the circumstances. This inner strength is, well, awesome.

Stories of the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless: Bruce

A lot of stories start out like any other. Bruce, for example, was a marine who made it big during the era. He was making six figures, was married and living a family life when everything came crashing down. The money ran out after the bubble. His wife divorced him. He lost contact with his son. He began to drink, heavily. Life spiraled out of control. His drinking left him physically disabled, having to use a cane to walk.


It wasn’t pretty and Bruce didn’t have a lot of options except to try to reverse time. And, he did. He went through programming through the Colorado Coalition of the Homeless and started college courses in Applied Science. Did we mention he got a 4.0? “Looking toward the future, Bruce says that professionally, ‘my ultimate goal is to run a nonprofit for addicted Veterans who are homeless.’ But more importantly, ‘my goal after I leave is to [continue to] build a relationship with my son.'” – Colorado Coalition for the Homeless

Stories of the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless: Caden & Ria

Two toddlers, Caden & Ria, became homeless when their family was evicted from their apartment (for reasons that are not mentioned on the site, but with the prices in the Denver area, we can only imagine…). Due to this hardship, the family was not able to maintain requirements for the Colorado Childcare Assistance Program (CCAP) Subsidy and they stopped bringing the kids to school.


This was especially alarming as Caden tests on the autism spectrum. After learning about the circumstances, through the Colorado Coalition of the Homeless, the family learned about programming that would allow the children to continue to come to school, getting much needed nutrition and support. The family also received help on career assistance and finding a home. Through the organization, the family now is employed and living in an apartment.


Stories of the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless: Jessica

Jessica went through what no mom should ever have to. She lost her three month old to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.) Devastated and still caring for her other children, a series of events led to her dismissal from work and then eviction from her home. She lived with her mother in a small mobile home, but was targeted as at-risk of losing custody of her children unless they found a more stable environment.


Through the Colorado Coalition of the Homeless, Jessica was able to go through the Family Reunification Program and helped her move into a suitable home with her children. She is also now able to regularly meet with a trauma counselor to work through the grief over the loss of her child. She plans on working in the medical field and works every day to make a better life for her children.


…read more incredible stories here.


What this donation means to us.

We find great inspiration in:

Thriving where you’re planted.

Getting past all the odds.

Dismissing people who say: “that’s too difficult.”

Ignoring the thoughts that tell you, “you can’t do this or that.”


Nonprofits like Colorado Coalition for the Homeless exist because homelessness may never be solved. Donations help give much needed funding to a nonprofit that needs staff, shelter maintenance, outreach, medical assistance, financial coaching and the many other services they offer.


“This was our first donation that ever supported people experiencing homelessness, so that’s a big deal, to me at least.” – Allison Parks, Owner & Founder, Conscious Real Estate


We have been donating to the nonprofits of our clients’ choosing for over four years now. We have no regrets about the many wonderful organizations that our clients have selected to receive donations. This is exactly why we created our business model as such – we care about all of the causes. The environment matters. Free speech matters. Veterans matter. Social justice matters. Animals matter. ALL OF IT MATTERS.


But still… four years is a long time to go without donating to a group of people who we all see on the streets every day in Denver – a group of people who are clearly in need. This donation landed an extra special place in our hearts… why shouldn’t the donations from our home sales contribute to the homeless?


From the start, Conscious Real Estate always had a socially conscious mission. Since the beginning, we have donated to scores of global, national, local and hyper-local nonprofits. We love focusing on Colorado nonprofits and this donation was especially meaningful. We genuinely hope to generate more business that allows us to continue to give back to the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless.



Look! It’s us!

Here is Conscious Real Estate Agent, Kimberly McAleenan (center), with her client Adrienne (left), and John Mezger (right) of the Colorado Coalition of the Homeless. Let’s just say those smiles are thinking about what can be done with $854! A lot!!! Are you looking to buy or sell? Join the conscious movement and contact us to learn more.


When you buy or sell a home with Conscious Real Estate, you’re able to donate a large chunk to a nonprofit of your choice. So many of our clients already make smaller monthly donations and attend the events of the organizations that they love, but this really allows our clients to give in a bigger way – using our money.


The Conscious Group - Sh*t Agents Say - Post 3

The Conscious Group - Sh*t Agents Say - Post 3

(Another Sweary Real Estate Post by Allison Parks)

Note: This is the fourth post in a series.  

If you are interviewing multiple agents to list your home, you may find yourself in a situation where several agents say that your home should sell around, for instance, $460,000. Another agent comes in and says they can sell it for $510,000 because they are incredibly talented and special. Beware, my friend. This is a tactic that many agents use to capture listings. They say that they are the best agent. They have special unicorn powers. All they have to do is click their heels, use your bathroom on a Wednesday without washing their hands afterwards, and like magic, your home is worth $50,000 more. I’m sorry, but often these agents are lying… but of course, all of us want our homes to be worth $50,000 more, so we hire the agent who says they can get us those 50 bonus racks.

Guess what actually happens?

Many moons later, your home sells for $460,000, like all of the honest agents told you it would. In fact, since your home sat on the market so long, your listing became “stigmatized” in the eyes of many buyers. As such, your home might only sell for $450,000-455,000, when it should have sold for $460,000. The agent with special unicorn powers purposefully quoted you a higher price than could actually attain for you, because they wanted your business. They aren’t smart enough to get your business in an honest fashion, so they have to use slimy tricks.

Truth: As a result of falling for this tactic, you have made less money, your home was on the market for much longer than it should have been, and you have to live with the fact that you paid a lot of money to an Uncool Agent, instead of an Honest Agent.


Want a Fantastic Agent instead of a Problem Agent?  Give us a call at 303-908-9873.

For more on Shit Real Estate Agents Say to Get You to Hire Them, read our next post, I am an expert on [insert neighborhood here].