Shit Real Estate Agents Say To Get You To Hire Them #5: I am an Expert on a Neighborhood

The Conscious Group - Sh*t Agents Say - Post 5

(Another Sweary Real Estate Post by Allison Parks)

Note: This is the fifth post in a series.  

Here is one of them:  

You should work with me, because I am a neighborhood expert. (Or school expert or foreclosure expert and so forth…)

BULLSHIT. 90% of the time, “expert” is just a marketing gimmick.

In the case of “neighborhood experts,” agents often choose the neighborhood in which they reside to be an “expert,” meaning that they are an expert because they live nearby. An agent who has branded onself as a “neighborhood expert” are using “hyperlocal marketing,” as it is highly recommended practice for real estate agents to market themselves heavily in a very small area.

What does “neighborhood expert” even mean? Do these people not know how to sell homes in other neighborhoods?

Here’s the thing…  there could be an instance where an agent has legitimately only sold homes in Cheesman Park for the past five years… they haven’t even sold a property in Congress Park on the other side of York Street, so they are a neighborhood expert, right? Not necessarily. If this agent has only sold Cheesman Park mansions for five years, they may not be familiar with the condos in Cheesman Park or they may not know how to accurately price an investment property in Cheesman Park. As such, even an agent who genuinely only sells properties in one neighborhood may still not be familiar with the type of property that you own or desire. As such, the term “neighborhood expert” is most often just shit real estate agents say to get your business.

Also in this realm of bullshit marketing are “experts” in vintage homes or “experts” in modern homes and such. These people may be Fantastic Agents, but it’s more likely that they are great at marketing themselves. One such agent who is a “Victorian Home Expert” called me for feedback from my clients about our showing we had. (Note: listing agents only call buyer’s agents for showing feedback if they cannot sell the home because they priced it too high and they are desperate.) I informed her that my clients weren’t interested because the floors were far more wonky than in most homes of that era, indicating potential structural issues. On top of that, the only bathroom in the home was not on the same floor as the bedrooms and was only accessible through the kitchen. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO PARADE THROUGH YOUR KITCHEN EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU TAKE A SHOWER?

She smugly responded that many Victorian homes have their quirks. (Thanks, honey. My Victorian home was built in 1899 and is put together like the car in Johnny Cash’s “One Piece At A Time” and it’s still better than this house you’re trying to sell, so you better lower your damn price and quit yer caterwauling.) Essentially, this “Victorian Expert” didn’t know enough about pricing a home to sell this one for asking price, but she is great at marketing herself and makes a shitload of money.

Truth: If an agent knows how to do their research, price properties effectively, assess the trends, negotiate well, and listen carefully to their clients, they can be a Fantastic Agent in any neighborhood with any type of home. An agent choosing to brand oneself as an “Expert” is just marketing.


Want a Fantastic Agent instead of a Problem Agent?  Give us a call at 303-908-9873.

For more on Shit Real Estate Agents Say to Get You to Hire Them, read our next post, I Have a Fancy Certification that Makes Me Uber-Ethical.